When you reach middle age, please put away your generosity.
When you reach middle age, please put away your generosity.
To pay selectively is the best way to maintain your relationship.

after entering middle age

, we often feel that our time is so crowded that we are overwhelmed by life.

the tiredness of middle-aged people comes from the fact that we always devote ourselves to trifles and often make painstaking efforts to maintain useless relationships.

as Mr. Lin Yutang said:

"the wisdom of life is to gradually clarify and filter out the unimportant impurities and retain the most important parts."

after middle age, do not be generous in these four things, so that life can be simplified and live a comfortable life.

unnecessary social interaction

after Dong Yuhui became popular because of the live broadcast, an old friend came here, hoping to learn and communicate with him.

seeing that he is always alone, his friends often organize dinner and invite him to attend.

as soon as Dong Yuhui was about to refuse, his friend patted his chest and assured that these are all future contacts. Only by attending more parties can we make friends with dignitaries.

unable to hold up the enthusiasm of his friends, Dong Yuhui had to give up the work at hand and rushed to dinner.

but when he got there, he regretted it:

the banquet was filled with smoke, everyone pushed the cup and changed it, boasting about the past and complaining about life.

when they are emotional, they will pat the table and throw chopsticks.

Dong Yuhui sat in the crowd, unable to get a word in, and seemed out of place.

during this period of time, Dong Yuhui has many friends on Wechat, but he hasn't really had a heart-to-heart with anyone.

on the other hand, he himself wasted a lot of time because of the dinner every night, and all the arranged plans ran aground.

when his old friend asked for another date, Dong Yuhui could not help turning him down, and then the two also lost contact.

when he mentioned the matter again, Dong Yuhui said with emotion:

"my energy is limited, so instead of participating in meaningless social activities, I might as well spend my time enriching myself."

in life, we are often faced with such moments: relatives who have not contacted for a long time, friends who do not know each other visit, afternoon tea invitations from colleagues at work.

even if we don't like it, we always force ourselves to fit in, thinking that this kind of communication can connect feelings and get to know people.

do not realize that the change of push cups at dinner cannot be exchanged for confidence at dinner.

shuttling through the social field where people come and go, it seems that the scenery is lively, but in fact it is a waste of time.

writer Xue Xiao Zen once said:

"when people reach a certain age, they go to recycle."

finally, I received a couple of bosom friends and a cup of shallow tea to make my life the way I want it to be. "

meaningless dinners can be pushed as long as you can, and social activities that kill your body and mind can be avoided if you can.

spend your limited time enriching yourself, spending time with your family, and living a vibrant life.

desire for a bottomless pit

once saw a question on Zhihu:

"when did you suddenly realize the importance of saving money?"

the following answer is full of adult sadness:

"my father fell on the hospital bed, but I wondered whether to use 2,000 yuan of self-financed medicine or 300 yuan of social security medicine."

"I was knocked down by a car and dared not ask for leave, so I had to limp to work."

"penniless, urged by the landlord to pay the rent, had to borrow money from others with a smiling face."

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We have to admit that money is our strength in the face of the problems of life.

the experience of netizen Qian Feng makes people feel a lot:

he used to have a rich family, but he spent a lot of money.

when he gets paid, he spends a lot of money on famous brands and likes to invite friends to parties in high-end restaurants.

the neighbor lives in a difficult situation, and he often gives relief, giving all the money to the other party without the need for IOUs.

his wife couldn't bear to watch it and often advised him to save money for a rainy day.

he smiled and said, "the money has been spent. I'll just go and earn it."

but before long, life suddenly became strapped because I couldn't find a job.

in order to save money, the family huddled in a ten-square-meter house and bought only some unsalable goods at a discount to make ends meet.

once he had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital for first aid, but he could not even collect the medical expenses.

when my son is about to go to college, he also needs a lot of money.

in order to raise money, Qianfeng had to drag his sick body around to do odd jobs.

he gave up smoking, stopped borrowing money casually, and saved it bit by bit before he finally got through the difficulty.

Wicklin once said:

"Life is the sea, and money is the boatman. Without a boatman, it is difficult to get through the world."

Middle-aged people not only have to take care of their elderly parents, but also have to take care of young children, and they have to run around for firewood, rice and salt all the time.

with heavy responsibilities, we should learn to tighten our pockets and save more money.

seemingly insignificant accumulation may cushion the crisis when the risk comes, and protect the family from the wind and rain when life is difficult.

being not generous with desires is to leave more sense of security to the future.

unhealthy habits

Bacon once said: "A man can do many stupid things in life, but the stupidest thing is to ignore health."

after middle age, we need a strong body as a barrier against the myriad ways of life.

A generation of actor Li Xuejian was busy with his work in his early years, but neglected his body.

workWhen he was in bad shape, he relied on drinking spirits to refresh himself.

if he is not inspired to act, he will keep smoking;

sometimes when filming doesn't care about eating, he eats some fried chili peppers to relieve hunger.

as this goes on, he becomes prone to coughing, and sometimes his throat is inexplicably swollen.

his family advised him to pay attention to his health, but he always ignored it.

while filming Chinese track, he suddenly felt a sore throat.

he thought he was tired of filming, so he didn't care. He thought he would get over it.

unexpectedly, I had a sore throat and coughed up blood.

after some examination, I learned that I had nasopharyngeal carcinoma.

as his condition worsened, his neck swelled and fester, and even drinking water made his heart ache.

and the expensive operation used up all his savings.

after discharge, Li Xuejian often said:

"it takes a serious illness to realize that the body is the most precious asset."

when people reach middle age, we will pay attention to the health of our parents and worry about the health of our children, but it is always easy to ignore ourselves.

even if I am not feeling well, I always choose to ignore it, always thinking about the future, and then take care of it slowly in the future.

for the rest of your life, you might as well stop and have a rest when you are tired and keep exercising in your spare time.

every penny we invest in our bodies will give us a greater return in the future.

Life is a long journey. Only by keeping healthy can we make the days flow and happiness go on.

unprincipled tolerance

Yu Qiuyu once said: "in interpersonal communication, often lose weight and detoxification, in order to easily take the future road."

Adult feelings are not equal, and sometimes wholehearted efforts may not be able to get the same feedback.

those who fail to live up to their true feelings are not worthy of our deep friendship and coexistence.

Andy Lau and a friend met while filming Infernal Affairs.

at that time, my friend was a fledgling, always wanted to film, but suffered from no one to appreciate, often complained to Andy Lau.

Andy Lau was personally introduced to fight for all kinds of film resources for him.

when he learned that he was homeless, Andy Lau also gave him his house to live in for free.

unexpectedly, my friends did not appreciate Andy Lau's efforts, but took them for granted.

when he raised the film Isabella, the film was in trouble because there was no investment.

in order to raise money, he once again turned to Andy Lau. Although Andy Lau was not optimistic about the film, he invested all his money in support of him without saying a word.

it's a pity that the movie didn't sell at the box office and lost all its money.

my friend didn't give up and went to Andy Lau again, hoping that he would invest in a sequel.

Andy Lau did not lend him the money this time, but kindly advised him that he should learn his lesson and stop.

did not expect his friend to fall out immediately, he said to Andy Lau contemptuously:

"it just cost you a little money, don't you have to teach me such a lesson?"

, he denigrated Andy Lau everywhere, saying that he was cunning and treacherous, and described his previous help as a trick to buy people's hearts.

in a fit of anger, Andy Lau cut off his ties with this friend.

in fact, in middle age, you will gradually understand:

there are very few real bosom friends, and many relationships are just like each other.

those who consume our relationship should stay away in time, and those feelings that get separated in a hurry need not be regretted.

our time and sincerity are precious and can not afford to be disappointed and wasted.

the best way to maintain a relationship is to give selectively.

writer Su Qin once said:

"everyone's time and energy are limited, learn to do subtraction, in order to achieve a light and smart life."

We may not be able to stop the passage of time, but we can change the focus of our lives and devote our limited energy to more worthwhile things.

only by staying away from the hustle and bustle can you enjoy the beauty of life alone.

only by knowing abstinence can we have the strength to deal with risks;

take care of your body so that you can give your family more support.

only by paying with a certain degree can you make your heart not be disappointed.

May we live an ordinary life with good physical and mental health and bosom friends for the rest of our lives.


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