A man's great skill is to plant flowers in his own heart.
above the point
Mr. Lin Yutang once said:
"A person who has a clean mind, clear thinking, and no superfluous emotions and delusions will bring sense of security to people.
because he does not hurt others or himself. Do not cause trouble, nor do you bother others.
the older you are, the more you like to get along with people who are emotionally stable.
because at any time, in the face of anything, they can take into account the feelings of others, be agreeable, safeguard the dignity of others, and keep a straight face.
put aside your emotions, for adults, it is not only a kind of precepts, but also a kind of kindness.
there are always such people in life, just like a bomb that can explode at any time.
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Nietzsche said in the other side of good and Evil:
"if your emotions are always out of control, you will be led by your feelings by the nose and lose your freedom."
have read such a story.
A belligerent swordsman once asked the old Zen master how to cultivate a clean mind.
unexpectedly, the old Zen master said to him contemptuously:
"you are vulgar, and I don't want to waste my time answering your questions."
after hearing this, the knife customer pulled out the knife and said angrily, "you old thing, do you believe I killed you with a knife?"
the old Zen master said, "this is not pure."
Daoke was stupefied for a moment.
after slowly calming down, he took the knife back and thought about it for a long time before sincerely thanking the old Zen master.
the old Zen master said slowly, "this is a pure mind."
it is said in the collected works of the Mid-levels:
"there are not so many bad people in the world, and most of the time they just behave in negative emotions."
because of the existence of bad emotions, everyone becomes a bad person sometimes.
True kindness actually begins with managing one's own emotions.
have seen such a fable:
someone got a precious purple sand teapot by chance.
he was so ecstatic that he kept playing with it all day long. In order to prevent theft, even sleep should be put at the head of the bed.
once, in his sleep, he knocked over the lid of the purple teapot to the ground.
after waking up, he was both angry and distressed, thinking, "the lid of the kettle is broken, what's the use of keeping the kettle body!"
so he angrily grabbed the teapot and threw it out of the window, turned around and went back to sleep.
when I got up the next day, I found that the lid of the kettle had fallen on my cotton-padded shoes and was not broken at all.
he jumped to his feet in anger and hated that he should not have thrown away the pot, but no matter how much he regretted it, he simply raised his foot and trampled the lid to pieces.
as soon as I went out, I saw the teapot thrown out of the window last night, hanging intact on the branch.
did you see that?
A lot of things are not what you think, and decisions made when you are emotional will only make things worse.
Zhihu, there is a great answer to the question of "how to avoid getting angry":
"when you come across something that makes you angry, take a deep breath, or go to the bathroom and deal with it when you get back. Trust me, 90% regret can be avoided in the future. "
calm down and cold handling is not only the fastest way to deal with an accident, but also gives yourself a room for manoeuvre.
when you are in a bad mood, don't rush to make a decision, but put it aside and give yourself 30 seconds, three minutes, three hours, or even three days to digest it.
wait for the anger to fade away, then talk well and deal with the problem rationally.
if you think about this, many contradictions in life can be easily resolved.
he Jiong once said:
"No anger does not necessarily mean that there are no negative emotions, can not bring negative emotions to others, is the real self-cultivation."
I don't know if you remember, there was a teacher who became popular on the Internet because of facial expression management.
before class, the teacher walked a little tired to the door of the classroom, but suddenly stopped.
shrugging his shoulders, sticking out his chest and tidying up his clothes, the teacher kept adjusting his state.
the teacher said in an interview that, in fact, he always adjusts his state before class:
"the children are inside waiting for the teacher to come, not to be depressed, for fear that it will affect the children's study."
just imagine, if the teacher comes into the classroom with a tired or sad face or anger, how can he do well in class?
in this world, too many people are full of hostility.
some people like to complain about life and often vent their emotions to innocent people.
but there are always some people who treat others gently even if life is not going well.
I have heard such a sentence:
"the most abominable thing in the world is an angry face; the dirtiest thing in the world is to show an angry face to others, which is worse than beating and scolding."
people who are soft and kind-hearted will not vent their emotions on others.
Douban had a hot discussion: what abilities should you cultivate when you are over thirty?
among them, the most frequently mentioned is the ability to control emotions.
A highThe like comment says:
"when I give up my emotions, I find that everything in life becomes easier."
so, how can you control your emotions?
pause for 10 seconds
when people are angry, their brain will go blank. Not only will their IQ go back to zero, but their emotions are also difficult to control.
when your negative emotions stay for 10 seconds, your desire to explode is much less.
this method requires conscious exercise until it becomes a habit.
emotional ABC method
emotional ABC method is called the master key of emotional management.
to put it simply, it is to raise awareness.
take the simplest example-you have a thorn in your finger.
suppose you accidentally stick a thorn in your finger, you will feel unlucky.
but some people will think, luckily it's not in the eye.
the same thing, when we change our view of it and understand it from a different point of view, our emotions may change dramatically.
give emotion an outlet
A psychologist said in the report: "the negative energy in our hearts needs to be released."
it is normal for a person to be in a bad mood. If you always force yourself to be perfect, you will be exhausted.
A host once asked Song Dandan, "when you start to have negative emotions, how do you control them?"
Song Dandan replied: "I will not strangle it because of this, but let nature take its course." If you want to be angry, be angry. If you want to cry, cry. "
sometimes, not controlling emotions does not mean that we allow negative emotions to run rampant at will, but release them in a better way.
you can exercise and sweat to take away the pressure.
you can read a book and drive away your irritability with silence.
you can also shout loudly in an open place to vent all your inner depression and boredom.
learn to release emotions, so that life can be more leisurely and comfortable.
I remember watching a video like this before.
in the subway, everyone is busy with his own business, lifeless.
suddenly, there was a man's laughter.
the exaggerated laughter attracted the attention of everyone in the carriage and looked at him one after another.
as the laughter continued to ring, everyone was infected and the corners of their mouths rose uncontrollably.
at first, the dull subway car was slowly filled with laughter.
A bad mood absorbs both a person's happiness and popularity.
A man's great skill is to plant flowers in his own heart.
planting flowers in your heart can smell not only yourself, but also others.
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