Because of love, I learned to accomplish rather than force change.
Love does not have a unified appearance, everyone expresses love, or love will change in different scenes, do or do not do it does not mean whether love, love is a comprehensive embodiment.
A book friend complained to me that she was old and always had a lot of ailments, so she always went to the hospital for a checkup.
even the doctor said there was nothing wrong with her, but there was something wrong with her. Just take care of herself at ordinary times.
but she always subconsciously didn't believe it, so she began to think wishfully.
I said: in fact, your main problem is that you think too perfectly.
people are getting older, and just like those machines, all parts of the body are bound to age and have minor problems.
and after the inspection, as long as it is not a big problem, you should not worry too much, which will get you caught up in it.
of course we all want our bodies to be as free from discomfort as we did when we were young, but there are some things we have to accept.
Why to share this thing is to say that it is the same in love.
everyone is looking for perfect love, thinking that they will find the perfect person, and every condition can meet their own requirements.
but are you perfect yourself? But there is no perfect person.
just like seeing a question on Zhihu and asking:
"I am 32 years old and have not found a reliable person. Is there no chance?"
and look at her definition of reliable people:
first of all, you should have a job with a stable income, a house and a car, a good character, no bad habits, cooking, high EQ and even good-looking.
people who can perfectly achieve these people's settings are not saying no, but they will be more or less dissatisfied.
for example, you don't like smoking when you have money and beauty.
for example, you don't smoke or drink but you don't have a house or a car.
for example, EQ is high, rich but grumpy.
like a person at first, of course, like his advantages, because those advantages are the reasons that attract us to him, to understand his premise.
but what is love? love is being able to tolerate each other's shortcomings.
after getting along for a long time, the shortcomings will be exposed one by one, some people can change, but most people are difficult to change or slow to change.
so if you just like it, of course you can't accept it.
but if you love him, you will naturally tolerate your shortcomings, because you know what those small flaws are compared to being with him.
Love you will tolerate your shortcomings, he will try to change your shortcomings, because he really does not like, but he will not force you to change immediately, but will guide you to give you time.
of course, you will run away like a plague when he smokes, because you understand that quitting smoking is not so fast, it takes a process, and at least for now he still likes to smoke.
so you may even buy him a cigarette and light it for him while you want him to quit.
100 yuan will give you 99 yuan, 10,000 yuan will give you 1000 yuan, what will you choose?
in fact, there is nothing wrong with choosing either. The former is a scarce resource, while the latter is a more resource. It's just that you need the love or condition that a person offers you more than others.
everyone's choice is different. I'm only talking about myself here. If it were me, I would definitely choose the former.
because I can earn money by myself, all I have to do is love.
now many people regard marriage as a springboard or looking for someone to provide for, but it is still not perfect as mentioned before.
since you value the terms offered to you more, don't expect the other person to be so considerate to you. If you want the other person's meticulous love, then don't expect the other person to give you sufficient supply in terms of conditions.
you can only get it if you have to give up.
A book friend told me her own story.
his boyfriend always advises her to give up the job and find a stable one so that he can share some of it for him.
personal humble opinion: boyfriend's thinking is more realistic, is to find someone to share the wind and rain with themselves, which is no problem.
and girls have things they like to do, and there's no problem working for them.
if it were me, I would support my girlfriend to do what I like, because it's not that I don't make money, but it's unstable at present.
but I know that as long as she continues to insist, she may even have the chance to become an illustrator in the future. Famous and rich, the most important thing is that she is very happy when she does it, which is something she likes.
and I can work a little harder, earn more to solve the family expenses, and give each other more confidence.
so, I think, to love someone is to agree with what the other person likes, and don't just throw cold water on each other.
if the other party is doing something that does not seem to benefit much at present, but may benefit in the futureIf it is a big thing, you must support it, even if you pay a little more now, maybe she can achieve something in the future.
in fact, the most important point is that because of love, you have learned to achieve rather than force change.
it is said on the Internet that scum men can fall in love and give people a particularly good love experience, because they will deceive people and give you extremely high emotional value, except for the heartbreaking when they finally break up, they can be called the perfect boyfriend when they fall in love.
Why is this? once a scumbag man told the reason.
"first of all, I know that this girl and I can't be together forever in the future, so I won't deliberately change her shortcomings.
do not want to have a future with you will unconditionally spoil you, because there is no need to solve problems with you, after all, the future is not his wife, why help you become better.
anyway, if I spoil you, I won't suffer for myself in the future.
and the person who really loves you always wants to communicate with you, because he wants to have a future with you, so he will try to be more matched with you.
No matter big or small, he always wants to talk to you, exchange views with each other, and then reach more agreement. It will help two people get along in the future.
in fact, boys are not good at expressing, and they don't like to open up, but if he always takes the trouble to communicate with you in front of you, he probably hopes for the future.
Check and have a look at pink homecoming dresses elegance from our website. Our collections will meet all your needs.
what I fear most is the kind of person who doesn't want to talk to you no matter what happens. It's really hard for people who can't communicate.
the biggest detail of a man who loves you is that he starts to think about it later.
and later with you.
generally speaking, men only have work and future development in mind, while men are more rational in the face of feelings.
if they just like someone, they may have an expectation in mind that they will probably be able to talk for how long, they all understand, or when the next better-looking or favorite person shows up, they will start to waver.
but if he loves you, then they will start to think about the future.
they may start to settle accounts, such as how much it costs to get married, what to prepare for having a baby, whether or not to have a pet, and what the house will look like.
will slowly determine the direction in their step-by-step temptation.
what is one of the details that men really love you?
it was he who dropped all his guard in front of you.
even he becomes like a child, even he will act coquettish, and even he will cry in front of you.
Men's strength is imposed on them, they are also human beings, and they also have all kinds of emotions, but most of the time they endure it and don't like to talk or show.
they pretend to be strong, but they show their vulnerability only in front of the people they trust and love most.
what he wants is a port where he can call and have a warm hug when he is tired.
remember, not all men look so strong, but only when he loves you can you feel his weakness.
Don't say how he looks like a child, don't say why he is so naive.
because only you can see what he will never show in front of others.
the masterpiece "low-quality social interaction is not as good as high-quality solitude". Publish the inspirational emotion book "willing because you like it". One book a week is released by authorization.