Spend every inch of good time on good things.
Ben Jonson has a famous saying:
"language can best expose a person. As long as you speak, I can understand you."
if you want to know whether a person is worthy of a deep acquaintance, you can not only see clearly for a long time, but also judge by how he speaks.
words are the voice of the heart, and words are the mirror of people. A person's inner self-cultivation and character are revealed in every word.
people who open their mouths and keep their mouths shut are often dark inside, and it is best not to make deep acquaintances.
the irony of raising the bar
writer Wang Meng wrote a short novel called "eloquence", which tells the story of a patient who suffers from "eloquence".
the doctor said politely to the patient, "Please have a seat."
the patient retorted, "Why are you sitting?" Are you going to deprive me of my right not to sit? "
seeing that the chat froze, the doctor decided to change the subject to soften the atmosphere: "it's a nice day today."
the patient said, "pure nonsense!" Just because you have a nice day here doesn't mean it's fine all over the world today. "
the patient is always uncooperative, and the doctor can't see him at all.
he retorted every time he opened his mouth, but he forgot that the purpose of this trip was to see a doctor.
people who like to be sarcastic never distinguish between occasions and talk about right and wrong. They just like to argue.
this kind of people like to find fault with other people's speech conditions in a reflexive manner, so as to gain the happiness and superiority of suppressing others.
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they only care about winning or losing, and they don't care whether others are comfortable or not.
and Franklin said:
"if you keep picking up and retorting, you may win occasionally, but it's just an empty victory, because you'll never get the favor of the other person."
people communicate with each other for comfort, not to win or lose.
the other person will soon realize that when you always want to take advantage of words, you don't want to communicate, but to win or lose.
stay away from those unreasonable people, do not argue with them, life will not be dragged into the dirty quagmire.
words that are inconsistent
there is a proverb: "it is difficult to draw bones when painting dragons and tigers."
there is such a kind of person, the face is compassionate, but ruthless, sweet words in front of people, but black and sinister in the back.
in the Tang Dynasty, there was a prime minister named Li Linfu, whom the world described as "honey in mouth and sword in belly".
he is approachable on the surface, doesn't put on airs, and speaks well, but he stabs people in the back.
Tang Xuanzong praised the noble temperament of Lu Kuang, a military attendant. Li Linfu heard this and was worried that Lu Kun would be reused, so he summoned his son and said to him:
"the emperor wants your father to be an official in Lingnan. If your father refuses, he will certainly be demoted." You might as well take the initiative to ask for a leisure and important position on the grounds of being old. "
exactly: you can say three things to everyone, and don't throw a piece of heart when something happens.
people who are inconsistent with their appearance are the most terrible. They act in the name of good people and do bad things.
on the surface, it is considerate of others, but in fact, it is difficult for people to defend themselves at the expense of others.
do not have a deep acquaintance with such a person, keep a certain distance and don't have too many interests entangled.
stubborn paranoid words
there is one of Zeng Guofan's rules of making friends: stay away from pedantic people.
because such people are stubborn and uncivilized, they rest on their laurels and have a narrow vision.
when you are with them, you will be negative and closed.
heard a short story:
A person buys a beautiful goldfish tank, but doesn't know how to raise it. He only knows how to feed the goldfish every day.
within a few days, the goldfish became sick and sick. The neighbor told him, "the water in the fish tank should be changed frequently, or the fish will die."
the man said, "the goldfish is not energetic. It must not be full. What does it have to do with water?" I just need to feed more fish food. "
the neighbor patiently told him the trick of keeping goldfish for a long time, but the man fell on deaf ears and poured a lot of fish food into the fish tank at once.
as a result, all the goldfish were dead the next day.
when talking to extremely paranoid people, it is easy to feel powerless when talking to a chicken and a duck.
they are always "obsessed with confidence" in themselves, refuse to reflect, do not listen to different opinions, and do not see their own shortcomings.
also always ascribes the problem to others, preferring to argue eloquently rather than admit his own failure.
the philosopher Russell said: "fools and madmen are always so sure of themselves, while wise men are full of doubts."
A truly wise person is open-minded and does not regard ignorance as fearlessness or stubbornness as perseverance.
they are willing to face up to their shortcomings and accept different ideas in order to constantly improve themselves and continue to grow.
stay away from extremely paranoid people, such people are too "narcissistic", get along with them, often can not keep up with the pace of the times, live into antiques and die-hards.
there is a question on Zhihu: "Why are people who love to laugh the most likeable?"
A highly praised answer is: "everyone likes to be with happy people."
Nobody wants to live by a smelly gutter. The greatest absurdity of a person is to be entangled with bad people and bad things.
the rest of life is not long, stay away from the dark people, walk with positive and sincere people, let the heart live in the sun, bask in the sunshine of happiness and self-confidence.
spend every inch of good time on good things.