If you focus on yourself, you will win the agreeable face of the world!
Sun Tzu's Art of War says:
"he who wins a hundred battles and wins a hundred battles is not the one who is good; if he does not fight, he who defeats others is also the one who is good."
compared with "winning a hundred battles and winning a hundred battles", not fighting and bringing people to their knees is the best strategy for using troops.
Life is like a battlefield, which inevitably encounters provocation, hostility, ridicule and ridicule.
if your anger starts from your heart, it may be in the hands of others;
if you give tit for tat, you may be killing a thousand enemies and damaging yourself eight hundred.
the world is complicated and the road is simple.
in fact, the best way to fight back against a person is not to argue, to ignore, and to tolerate.
No dispute: purify the circle outward
there is a saying in Daojing: "the husband only does not argue, so the world can not fight with it."
struggle is the survival instinct of the law of the jungle, while non-struggle is the survival wisdom of the world.
there is a clip like this in the distant Savior.
Ding Yuanying and Xiao Yawen came across a music critic and had dinner together.
during the dinner, the other party tried his best to show his elegance and vulgarity: music, art, literature, philosophy, religion.
Xiao Yawen wanted to object to him, but he had no choice but to put up with it when he saw that Boss Ding had been nodding and smiling.
when the meeting is over, the other party wants the contact information of Mr. Ding.
Boss Ding said, "Xiao Xiao, I say one and you remember one."
so, from the mobile phone to the landline, from Beijing to Berlin, from the driver to the assistant, Mr. Ding said a total of eight numbers.
this move was permeated with nouveau riche pettiness from beginning to end, and at last the other party got impatient and ran away with contempt.
Xiao Yawen was puzzled: "Boss Ding, are we that vulgar?"
Ding Yuanying said lightly, "that way, he will be elegant!"
Zhuangzi Qiushui says:
"the summer worm cannot speak to the ice, and the well frog cannot speak to the sea."
A worm whose life ends in the middle of summer cannot understand the ice and snow.
Life is more or less like this.
each person's family environment and growth experience are different, and all kinds of cognition will be very different.
therefore, not everything is worth arguing about, and not everyone needs to be close.
Guan Ning of the three Kingdoms, in the face of Hua Xin's frenzy for money, fame and fortune, directly cut the mat, separated the seat and said, "you are not my friend."
Leyi during the warring States period, facing the suspicion of King Yan Hui, fled directly to the State of Zhao. In reply to King Yan's reproach letter, he said:
"A gentleman will never make an evil sound."
as the saying goes, different ways do not conspire with each other.
the older you get, the more you can understand: in a circle, choose sincerity; friends, choose good friends.
people who are not worth it do not need to argue and pass by.
people with different values do not have to guess and explicitly refuse;
people who go back on their promises don't have to argue, just stay away.
if you don't fight, you may "lose" meaningless face, but you can win purity and earn Li Zi!
ignore: self-improvement inward
Lu Xiang Xian Zhuan in the Book of the New Tang Dynasty says: "those who are willing are tired, but those who are unconcerned do not care."
on the other hand, if you can selectively turn a deaf ear, the direction of life will be very different.
when Zeng Guofan was a student at Yuelu Academy, he was targeted everywhere by a classmate.
once, when he moved his desk to the window to study, the classmate shouted, "you are blocking my light."
Zeng Guofan glanced at him and quietly moved the table away.
the next day, Zeng Guofan arrived late and found that his desk had been moved to the corner, while the classmate snickered maliciously.
Tseng Kuo-fan remained silent and sat down to study.
in the evening, when Zeng Guofan stayed up to study at night, the classmate complained again: "do you still let people sleep?"
Zeng Guofan still did not answer and changed his recitation to silent reading.
after a period of time, the Hunan rural examination and Zeng Guofan's high school raised people, but the classmate who always found fault failed.
"Divination operator Yong Mei" said: "there is no intention of bitter struggle for spring, a group of people are jealous."
Plum blossom, do not need to make every effort to compete for favor, do not care about the exclusion and jealousy of flowers, but still live to become the most beautiful scenery in the cold winter months.
the same should be true of being a man.
Li Guizhen of the five dynasties:
in the face of the painting being ridiculed as a "dead tiger", he is not afraid;
he doesn't care about being accused of being "crazy" in the face of simulated tiger movements.
Su Qin of the warring States:
in the face of the negation of the son of Zhou and the King of Qin, he did not lose heart.
he is not discouraged by the ridicule of his family and neighbors;
there was a popular saying on the Internet:
"when you are not strong enough, all your temper is just a joke in the eyes of others."
it is true.
when you are weak, there are many "bad guys" around you!
these "bad guys" will provoke quarrels and procrastinate.You go into the water: the angrier you are, the more angry he is; the more painful you are, the more proud he is.
on the contrary, if you ignore it, it will highlight the boredom of the other person;
if you focus on yourself, you will win the harmony of the world!
patience: waiting for a late strike
Gui Guzi has a saying: "to control stillness by movement, to attack; to brake statically, to defend."
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the game between people, keep the silence of "quiet", do not have the momentum of "movement", but can hide the front and confuse each other.
in the early days of Emperor Jingdi of the Han Dynasty, Liu Rong was made crown prince, and Jingdi was also observing whether his biological mother, Li Ji, could afford the duty of supervision.
during this period, because Li Ji refused to marry, the eldest princess Liu John turned to slander to the emperor.
Emperor Jingdi was dissatisfied, but did not cure Li Ji's sin.
one year, Jingdi was seriously ill.
he summoned Li Jituo and said, "when I am a hundred years old, you should be kind to the concubines and princes."
the implication is to make him queen.
it's a pity that Li Ji didn't understand.
she was furious at first, then refused, and finally scolded: "you old dog, you are so promiscuous, but also let me clean up the aftermath!"
although Emperor Jingdi was very angry, he was very sober. his anger at the moment would not only aggravate his illness, but also alarm him and make the princelings aware of it.
so he chose to be patient.
the following year, Jingdi, who recovered from his illness, found an excuse and adopted a two-pronged approach:
scrap the crown prince, denounce Li Ji, and execute all her relatives in North Korea!
it is said in the Book of changes: "A gentleman hides utensils in his body and waits for time to move."
time is the fairest.
it can change game chips, opportunities, experience, psychological quality and so on.
Gou Jian, who lived through hardships and hardships, gathered together for ten years and finally destroyed Wu and became the last hegemon in the Spring and Autumn period.
Sun Bin, whose legs were disabled, painstakingly planned to pretend to be crazy and foolish, and finally defected to the State of Qi, planning to "encircle Wei to save Zhao" twice, allowing his enemy Pang Juan Bing to commit suicide.
as the old saying goes, "Wise men often condescend, but fools stretch their heads."
when you bend and stretch, it is often a combination of good and misfortune and success or failure.
the world is unpredictable. when the situation is unfavorable, you should know how to take a step back and bend for extension.
on the other hand, if you do not know how to be patient, you will often ruin the overall situation because of your temporary strength.
keep the green mountains, do not worry about the lack of firewood.
learn to be patient in the sea of life, not cowardice or incompetence, but to keep a low profile and wait for time to move.
there was a classic dialogue between the two poetry monks in the Tang Dynasty.
"what if some people in the world slander me, deceive me, humiliate me, laugh at me, despise me, despise me, hate me, and deceive me?"
pick up and say:
"just put up with him, let him, let him, avoid him, bear him, respect him, ignore him, stay a few more years, you can look at him."
truly mature people, in the face of right and wrong, can fight back appropriately:
do not argue, do subtraction to the circle, this is a kind of self-cultivation;
ignore it and add to yourself, which is a kind of wisdom;
be patient and multiply the results, which is a pattern.
in this way, I can do things soberly, be thorough, and live calmly and well.
for the rest of my life, may we all be able to "do not fight, ignore, endure" and let him go east and west. I will stand still!
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