but it is too much for parents to understand that some wishes can be done and some wishes cannot be done.When you wish, should you also consider how to handle this degree?
Don't blindly satisfy your child's wishes while ignoring the rationality and meaning of the wish itself; without responding to the child's wishes in principle, the expectation value of the wishes is greatly reduced.
know a friend. Because the couple are too busy with their careers to take care of their children, most of the time, in order to make up for this apology, they will satisfy their children unconditionally.
Children like toys, they buy all kinds of toys, they can't fit them in the room, and they set up a toy room.
Children are partial to snacks, and they also indulge their elders to buy snacks for their children until they lose control of their weight.
remember the worst time when a child suddenly became infatuated with Spider-Man and quarreled for equipment as a birthday present, and the worn-out two cobbled together to find a more complete set of equipment.
finally, when the equipment broke down, the child shouted" deceit and deceit "directly, while trampling his parents' painstaking efforts on the ground and staring back at his mother.
such a scene is really shocking, this is not to meet the wishes of children, it is obviously a disguised form of waste.
if everyone can wantonly ask their parents to do something unreasonable for them, it is hard to imagine the child's future worldview.
to meet children too quickly will often aggravate their sense of uncherished.
appropriate delay in gratification will stimulate a child's desire for greater things
you see, it was too easy to get Wang Xun's violin in the yearning Life before.
because she wanted to learn the violin on a whim, his mother worked hard for two months to satisfy him, but the wish was so easily fulfilled that Wang Xun gave up after only a year.
although there is his own determinative factor, the egg mother feels that" being satisfied too quickly "more or less promotes the results.
because it is too easy to be satisfied, only regard the wish as your own whim; if it is too easy to get, you will not have the consciousness of cherishing it.
so we sometimes delay gratification, which can really inspire children to cherish more, which the egg mother admires very much.
remember that when she and Zhu Dan were hosting a program, Zhu Dan mentioned his experience of buying a piano for her child, which was a bit hasty and direct.
" it's too expensive to buy at home. If you really want it, you have to study hard and give it to you one day for your birthday. "
can't really afford it? of course not. She just thought that if she promised her son to buy a piano right away, it would be very cheap.
let children get through waiting and their own efforts will be more cherished , and things are given a new meaning.
therefore, egg moms hope that parents can appropriately delay their children's wishes in addition to their own guidelines, so that they can value their wishes.
seeing this, some parents may ask, is everything in accordance with the standard of delayed gratification?
if children are not satisfied with some basic food, clothing and use, it is easy to stimulate their stronger sense of appetite.
in fact, any behavior has a boundary, and the delayed gratification mentioned by the egg mother has its premise.
first of all, delay is not canceled, only in the delayed operation full of trust, the child's self-control ability will continue to improve .
secondly, the delay needs to be appropriate and parents need to be specific.If the problem is dealt with blindly according to delayed gratification, the child may develop into an intrinsically deficient personality in the future.
for example, some basic material needs of children, we should try our best to meet them, do not fall into the misunderstanding of delaying gratification, and let children move forward aggrieved on the road that cannot be satisfied.
parents, please remember that in addition to meeting some basic needs of their children, they need to be appropriately delayed in order to stimulate their greater aspirations.
I hope everyone can be a good parent who has a degree of parenting and refuses youdao!
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