Moments are only a small part of life, and the most important thing is to live a good life outside of moments.
when was your last moments posted?
clicked on the moments of the people around me, and found that many people's moments still stayed a few months ago, and some of them had not even been updated for more than half a year.
Wechat has previously made public a set of data:
"every day, 1.09 billion people open Wechat, 780 million browse on moments, but only 120 million post on moments."
in moments, more and more people no longer want to be the protagonist and begin to be a quiet audience.
some people say that this is because they have grown up and become low-key.
people who do not often post on moments may not keep a low profile and may have other concerns.
focus on yourself,
Don't want to be burdened by socializing
We all understand that if people want to live for themselves, they don't have to care about the eyes of others, but very few people can really do it.
everyone yearns for the approval of others, and although the purpose of posting moments is not to win attention, they still can't help but pursue recognition on this small matter.
when something is expected, people's emotions are easily affected.
before posting the moments, I can't help but struggle with how to write the copywriter, how to choose the photos, and what other people will think of themselves when they read this moments.
when I finally send it out, I will open Wechat over and over again to see if there are any likes and comments.
if there are many people who like them, they will be happy. If no one likes them for a long time, they will begin to reflect on whether they are unpopular and fall into disappointment and depression.
maybe you will say, just posting a moments, you don't think so much, do you?
you know, the world is different in the eyes of different people, and the reaction to things is also different. for sensitive people, being affirmed in the circle of friends is a proof of their own value.
over time, this kind of pressure and burden is tiring, and some people will choose not to post it on moments.
sometimes, an inadvertent circle of friends is overinterpreted, maliciously speculated, and inexplicably attacked.
you complain about life, some people say you are hypocritical; when you post a selfie, some people ridicule your P picture too much; when you send something new, some people say you are just to show off.
it doesn't matter whether it is posted on moments or not. If it will affect your mood by gossip, don't post it at all.
instead of pursuing the approval of others and feeling tired for the useless society, it is better to calm down and precipitate yourself to enrich your life.
pay attention to privacy and don't want to expose yourself
in psychology, the self is divided into two parts: the "open me" and the "private me".
one is the side that can be made public, and the other is what you look like in private, for example, some unknown secrets and ideas, and so on.
people who pay attention to privacy tend to have a strong sense of boundaries and are used to drawing a clear line between themselves and others, showing only the "open me" and not the "private me".
those trivial daily and personal experiences and feelings are private to them. Posting them in moments, they are likely to expose their personality, emotions, living habits and whereabouts, and give others a chance to spy on their privacy.
in the Wechat list, there are acquaintances and strangers. Exposing their private side in front of unfamiliar people is an affront to their own boundaries.
the Internet shortens the distance between people and makes everyone transparent.
there is a question on Zhihu: how horrible is the disclosure of information on Wechat moments?
someone did a special experiment, and it took only half an hour to get the following information from the moments of a strange woman:
you must not have the intention to harm others, and you must be careful to guard against others.
frequently expose their privacy in moments, and if they are caught by people with bad intentions, they will be given a chance to hurt themselves.
people who choose not to post on moments are protecting themselves and the people around them.
what is more complicated than life is the human heart. Be on guard against others and be vigilant at all times in order to protect yourself from harm.
get used to satisfying the desire for sharing in private,
I just want to share it with people who understand
there is a question on Zhihu: "Why do more and more people stop posting on moments?"
A high praise replied:
"because the moments you want to send have been sent to people who care about them in the form of private messages."
I think so.
many people think that people who don't post frequently on moments have nothing to share on a daily basis and no one to share.
in fact, they just leave the desire to share to the people they care about, because not everyone cares about themselves.
everyone has their own busy life, few people empathize with your sadness, and no one is happy for you.
for some people, sharing is meaningless when emotions are not understood and sharing is not responded to.
after all, if you share the wrong person, happiness is likely to show off, and sadness becomes hypocritical.
only the people closest to you can know whether you are warm or cold and understand your joys and sorrows.
Don't post on moments because people who really care about themselves don't need to care about themselves through moments, and people who don't care about themselves don't need to show them.
people's social energy is limited. A study once showed that each person can only maintain about five close friends at the same time.Friends.
although more and more people are known, only a few people really talk to each other.
Let go of your obsession with moments, stop longing for everyone's attention, say what you want to say to the people you care about, and save your time and energy for those who deserve it.
the circle is getting bigger and bigger,
find it troublesome to group in moments
psychologist Jung once put forward a concept called "personality mask".
in different social situations, we tend to show people in different images.
it is likely to show a completely different side in front of parents, in front of colleagues, and in front of friends.
this is not hypocrisy, but the "impression management" made by oneself in order to meet the expectations of different people and be recognized by different people.
hiding part of your true self and better communicating with different people are necessary skills to survive in society.
setting up groups on moments is a way of "impression management".
the circle of friends who stay up all night cannot be seen by their parents, the circle of friends who complain about work cannot be seen by leaders, and you, who could have said what you want, suddenly lost your freedom of expression.
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sometimes it takes five minutes to wind up your moments and half an hour to group into groups. After posting, you have to make sure again and again that you have forgotten to block those people.
this is not foolproof, and it may lead to new troubles--
when someone talks about your moments, another person suddenly asks:
"Why don't I remember Ta sending this one?"
"just sent it a few days ago. Here, look."
in order to avoid troubles and misunderstandings and to "treat people equally" around them, some people will gradually bid farewell to their moments and return to real life.
Life is your own and has nothing to do with others
I believe that many people have had this feeling:
when you are helpless, no one around you can help;
past painful experiences, unwilling to tell others in detail;
even if you say it, no one else can understand it.
there is a word in psychology that explains this phenomenon very well, which is called "always my attribute".
means that people always live alone and have nothing to do with other people.
Life is your own, and you don't need too many spectators. Most of the people who watch you just keep a lively attitude.
Ta may not be happy for you if you are doing well; if you are not doing well, Ta is under no obligation to give you a hand.
just like Lu Xun once said:
"A man downstairs was sick to death, and the family next door was singing the gramophone. There were two people laughing and playing cards upstairs. There was a woman crying over her dead mother on the boat in the river. Human joys and sorrows are not the same. I just think they are noisy. "
emotions are your own, and you have to digest them on your own; depression and happiness are your own, and you don't have to share them with unrelated people.
it's OK to record your life by posting on moments, but you don't have to place too much expectation on others to care about you, and you don't need to define your own value through the approval of others.
it's for yourself to post on moments, and it's for yourself if you don't.
when a person gradually stops posting on moments, it is because he has found the focus of life, pays attention to himself, and leads a comfortable life.
there is a saying that is very good:
"when you are not posting moments, you are living seriously; when you are posting moments, you are loving life."
when dealing with moments, some people use it as a notebook of life to record beautiful moments, while others silently withdraw from the circle of friends and pay attention to the experience of real life.
those who live in the circle of friends have their splendor, and those who withdraw from the circle of friends have their own tradeoffs.
whether or not to post on moments is a personal choice. Respecting other people's choices is due accomplishment.