Those who can heal themselves are really strong.
have read such a sentence:
"never complain to anyone. 80% don't care and 20% see jokes."
if you think about it, it is true.
it's not that human feelings are so indifferent, but everyone has their own life to live, and they don't have time to take care of themselves, and they are even more unable to take care of others.
in the dark and helpless time, to bear silently and be strong secretly is the posture of an adult.
there is no real empathy in the world
Mr. Lu Xun wrote in "just Collection":
"A man downstairs was sick to death, and the family in that room was singing the gramophone; opposite was playing with the children.
there are two people laughing madly upstairs; and the sound of playing cards.
there is a woman crying her dead mother on the boat in the river.
Human joys and sorrows are not the same. I just think they are noisy. "
Yes, there are only joys and sorrows between people.
A major event that seems like the collapse of the sky in your eyes may not be worth mentioning in the eyes of others.
there is no real empathy in this world. You have to carry your pain and sadness on your own.
Jiang GE, a foreign student, was locked out of his door and killed by Liu Xin's ex-boyfriend in order to protect his good friend Liu Xin.
the events that followed were surprisingly angry, and Liu Xin kept lying in an attempt to evade responsibility.
in order to get justice for her daughter, Jiang Qiulian, the mother of Jiang GE, began a difficult road of blame.
everyone shouted and cheered for her on the Internet, and supported her in seeking justice for her daughter.
you can quit the web page, turn off your cell phone, and everyone goes back to their lives.
now six years have passed, if not deliberately mentioned, everyone would have forgotten this matter, only Jiang GE's mother is still running on the road of blame.
six years of flicking fingers in the eyes of others has been more than 2000 days and nights of Jiang GE's mother's heart-piercing heart.
the other day, under Jiang GE's mother's Weibo, I saw such a comment:
"can we stop this for a moment? Auntie, don't you have a life of your own? Now that the law has come to an end, can the dead rest in peace, not to mention your daughter? "
it just sounds sad.
seeking justice for her daughter is the driving force to support Jiang GE's mother to live. Others watched, but only lightly threw down the words, "you should live your own life."
Yu Qiuyu said:
"in this world, no one can really empathize with a person's pain. You have ten thousand arrows through your heart, and you are in pain. It's just your own business."
Yes, if you don't stick a needle in yourself, you will never know how painful it is.
it is never better to heal your wounds in silence than to try to empathize with others.
you know, in the adult world, understanding is an accident, and not understanding is the norm.
Adult world, each has its own pain
likes a sentence very much:
"there is a fire in everyone's heart, and passers-by only see smoke."
there is no plain sailing in the adult world. You can taste all the ups and downs, and only you know what it's like.
everyone is trying to make a living, you think you have worked hard enough, turn around and look, there is no one who is not carrying a heavy load.
the hit drama "San Yue has a New Job" some time ago, the hostess Zhao Sanyue has been having trouble at work and lying flat at home since she graduated from university.
but lying flat is not comfortable. Her mother blames her and the strange eyes of the people around her all make her anxious.
San Yue collapsed under great pressure, and she even stood on the overpass, thinking about jumping off.
it was not until Sanyue accidentally entered the funeral industry that Sanyue saw all kinds of things in the world.
A woman whose husband was killed by an extramarital object endured humiliation and pain and carefully planned the funeral for her husband so as not to damage the image of the child as a good father.
A beautiful girl who can play the piano was molested by her father's friends in her childhood. for more than a decade, she suffered the pain alone and dared only tell the pain to the deceased, so she chose to become the funeral host.
the old man in his sixties was left uncared for and died for four days before he was discovered. The sons and daughters appeared only to fight for property.
the son has just died, but the father is urged by the company to go back to work;
the optimistic curator suddenly found out that the cancer was advanced and passed away soon.
pile by pile, piece by piece, all make Sanyue realize:
everyone is miserable, and his own frustration is nothing.
in life, everyone has his own way to go and his own suffering to bear.
you don't have to tell everyone about your suffering, because those who listen to your complaints may be ten or a hundred times more bitter.
A sign of one's true maturity is to realize that
Adult life has its own sufferings, and there is no heart without a broken heart.
as Ji Xianlin said in "joys and sorrows":
"there are thousands of things in the world, joys and sorrows, ups and downs, but there is nothing anyone else can do to help."
there will be several difficult times in everyone's life.
you don't have to cry everywhere about pain. You and I should all learn to grit our teeth and live while we get hurt.
never complain to anyone
Why do people like to complain everywhere?
there are no more than two purposes: to vent one's emotions.To win sympathy.
but in fact, no one wants to be someone else's emotional trash can and vent their emotions wantonly, which will only keep the people around you away from you.
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there is another truth that I have to admit:
your complaint may not necessarily be sympathized with, but it will certainly become something for others to talk about.
so, instead of complaining everywhere, it's better to cry and be strong again.
recently, actor Zhang Songwen became popular because of the TV series "the Wind".
behind his success is not by accident, but by more than 20 years of silent efforts to hone his acting skills.
actors are always glamorous, with Zhang Songwen as an exception.
in the first 10 years of his career, he had a meagre income, barely supporting himself, and went to the vegetable market to buy leftovers every day.
the most exaggerated year, he ran more than 300 troupes, almost all of which were rejected.
he has been on the hot search, the content is: 20 years in the industry, can not afford to buy a house, rent to live in the outer suburbs of Beijing.
looking at the sympathetic comments on the Internet, Zhang Songwen replied:
"is it hard to move to a rural bungalow in the outer suburbs for eleven years? I'm sorry. I didn't. Friends who have been to my house know that although the bungalow I rent is simple, it is very comfortable.
there is nothing to discuss about my situation, because the vast majority of people in this industry are like this. Lucky people will wait until the spring blossoms. If they are not lucky, they will only be a drop in the bucket of work, but no one will force you to do this. You chose it yourself, so you must enjoy it. "
instead of complaining, he is busy running the crew and sharpening his acting skills. This is Zhang Songwen's wisdom.
and he finally waited until the day when he became popular with this tenacity.
in many cases, complaining does not play the slightest role in changing our situation.
on the contrary, the more you complain, the more bitter you are.
every time I complain, I tear open the wound and show it to others.
every time you complain, you are torturing yourself again.
I have always believed that life for the better begins without complaining.
No matter how deep the wound is, lick it by yourself; no matter how sad it is, slowly digest it.
as Yu Hua said: "in the dead of night, take out your heart, sew and mend it yourself, and then wake up full of confidence."
never complain to anyone or try to be saved.
you are the only one in this world who can save you from fire and water.
the novel Ferry Man says:
"if life is a lonely river, who will be the ferry of your soul?"
the answer is only yourself.
when you are frustrated and confused, when you are sleepy in the dark, don't cry about pain, don't complain.
those who adjust their mindset, heal their wounds secretly, and can heal themselves are the really strong ones.
, may you go through pain and finally achieve perfection in your life.
A book is published under authorization.