Hug is the gentlest language.
yesterday the school teacher called me and talked about the balls'" misbehavior "at school. Coupled with the recent pressure of work, I lost control and was furious with the balls.
he must have been frightened, his face was a little pale, he stood timidly in the corner and dared not speak, and even Feifei began to cry.
I immediately regretted it when I lost my temper, and I had an indescribable taste when I saw the two children.
"Mom, can you hold me?? " I was stunned and regretted for my behavior. I squatted down and hugged my balls tightly and apologized to him.
the soft little hand with balls grabs my clothes, sighs like a spoiled sigh and says, "fortunately, Mom still loves me."
I never thought my balls would say such a thing, and I began to rethink the importance of hugging to children.
actually, many of our parents ignore that seeking sense of security is an important reason for children to ask for a hug.
Children crave a hug, sometimes is not just physical needs, but also psychological needs.
they look forward to having close physical contact with their parents, especially snuggling in the arms of the mother, which will allow the child to revisit the tactile memories of the embryo in the mother's body, which makes them have sense of security.
in a program, the mother came home and saw her sleeping father, quarreled angrily, and the daughter beside her, who tried to hug her mother several times, was pushed away.
the little child was so scared that he only wanted a hug to calm his mother's anger, but he was ignored by his mother.
the child psychologist in the program said: "if the mother is more rational, she should hug the baby at this time so that she is no longer afraid."
Children are very short of sense of security. In the face of unfamiliar environments and unexpected situations, their first thought is to get into their mothers' arms, which is the most familiar and safe place for them.
whenever school starts, there are a lot of children clinging to their parents' thighs at the school gate, which is a sign of the absence of sense of security.
at this time, parents should hug their children to ease their tension and let them know that even if they leave home, it does not mean that their parents have abandoned him.
give your child enough sense of security to adapt to strangers and surroundings more quickly, and he won't get timid when he meets a big occasion.
establishing sense of security is also the first step to make children more confident.
many parents wonder why their children don't talk to me when they grow up.
the simple reason is that children do not have a good intimate relationship when they are young, which leads to the habit of "holding their hearts" and becoming more and more estranged from their parents.
famous psychologist Dr. Herod Foss said: "in the family, daily hugs will strengthen the relationship between members and greatly reduce friction."
but when there is friction with their children, most parents will choose the "avoidant" approach.
my friend Meimei often uses this trick with her daughter.
after she lost her temper, her daughter only said," he pulled my hair and I fell! " So he ran into the room and never came out.
knowing that she has wronged her daughter, Meimei can't lose face to apologize, peel the fruit and bring it to the room, in a vain attempt to soften the relationship with her daughter with the phrase" eat fruit ~ ".
the matter was not satisfactorily settled, but it tore apart the mother-daughter relationship between the two, and her daughter has not told her anything from the bottom of her heart since then.
in addition to friend Meimei's call to dinner, parents have also used many wrong handling methods, such as high-level reasoning, confusion of changing concepts, and so on. These self-styled smart practices often screw up the parent-child relationship.
actually it's easy to establish an intimate relationship with your child. Hug him more and make him feel warm and loving in your arms. Naturally, he will trust his parents more and will say anything from the bottom of his heart.
Don't wait for your child to grow up and become more and more unfamiliar before thinking with regret: "Why didn't you hug him properly?"
healthy growth of body and mind
in addition to sense of security and parent-child relationship, hugging also affects the healthy growth of children.
the results show that there is a certain relationship between exposure and a healthy immune system, and proper hugging can enhance the child's immunity and reduce the infection rate of diseases such as colds.
serotonin affects and controls our psychological and emotional processes, motivational functions, hormones and blood pressure.
increasing serotonin in children can effectively enhance the sense of pleasure, thereby inhibiting the occurrence of depression and obesity.
neuroscientists have found that hugs make people feel happy and happy. The more we get in touch with others, the more happiness we can get.
more hugs with children can balance the nervous system and make children grow up healthily and happily.
scientists have shown that hugging causes the body to release oxytocin, calms the nervous system and creates a sense of relaxation.
in addition, oxytocin also has the effect of lowering blood pressure and heart pressure, keeping children away from heart disease caused by stress.
hugging can give your child a sense of support, relieve tension, and thus relieve pain.
when the child falls and hurts, hugging the child can make the child quickly recover from the injured sadness and become stronger to face setbacks.
" hugging is the most gentle language that human beings have. "
A hug can melt ice and bring hope. Hugging is not only a physical contact, but also an expression of love.
if a child doesn't understand his parents' words when he is young, hug him and let him feel his parents' temperature and love.
when the child grows up and doesn't listen to his parents, please hug him and let him know that his parents are always there and love him all the time.
Don't be late, Please hug your baby today!
* this article is originally written in ID:jqfans. Please indicate the source and ID when reprinted. Pay attention to mother's manual, exchange parenting experience with millions of mothers here, and a large number of original fine parent-child cartoons to teach you happy parenting! The pictures in this article are all from the Internet.