To do what you like, meet the person you like, and live your life freely.
it is said that you can't hide if you like someone, but even if you don't like it.
some people appear to be polite and greet with a smile, but there are times when you can feel that they are not close to you, or even dislike you.
dealing with people is not afraid of shallow friendship, not afraid of a few friends, but afraid of paying your sincerity by mistake and letting the other person take your sincerity as a sharp knife to hurt you.
Uncle wants to say that whether it is a lover or a friend, if the other party has these performances, it shows that he does not really treat you, but despises you from the bottom of his heart, and there is no need to associate with you.
ignore your needs
in intimate relationships, there is a kind of injury called "emotional neglect". Simply put, it means that you don't care, don't care, and don't respond.
the experience of the reader Lily is a typical example.
when she is with her boyfriend, the biggest feeling is that having a boyfriend is the same as not having a boyfriend, and having him will add to her heart.
the music festival he wants to go to, he excuses that he is too busy to accompany her, but plays games at home all day.
when you get sick and have a fever, you don't say a word of greeting, let alone take good care of it;
she was wronged. Her boyfriend not only did not comfort her, but also accused her of having a glass heart.
she always takes the initiative to see him and greet him, but the other person doesn't care about and accompany her, and she can't even "listen to her".
several times when she spoke, he never took his eyes off the phone screen until she couldn't help asking, "are you listening to me or not?" he looked up and answered "mm-hmm".
the greatest contempt for a person is not slander, but disregard.
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A person who doesn't take you to heart will naturally ignore you. He ignores your existence, turns a blind eye to your needs, doesn't ask about your life, doesn't care about your emotions, and doesn't want to waste time and energy on you.
if you are ignored, you will feel frustrated by being rejected and ignored, feel aggrieved by the inequality of the relationship, and even begin to doubt yourself.
"is it because I'm not good enough that I don't deserve to be taken seriously?"
how a person treats you is Ta's choice. We just have to be ourselves and decide who to stay away from and who we are close to, and we don't have to judge ourselves by each other's attitude.
feelings are mutual. When you find that only you are giving in this relationship, you should see each other clearly and reduce contacts. This is the greatest respect for yourself.
always turn off your invitation
in the way of expressing love, meeting is the most sincere one.
if a person likes you, he will try his or her best to meet you. When two people face to face, they can better see each other's emotions and feel each other's temperature. If you want to say something, you can get an immediate response and will not be disturbed by other people and things.
willing to leave time to you alone is to care about your proof, while those who dislike you don't even want to give you a chance to meet.
in the face of your invitation, Ta always finds various excuses to refuse: too busy at work, too lazy to go out, wants to spend more time with his family, and has an appointment with others.
really answer that sentence--
"you don't need a reason to see someone, but you can find countless reasons if you don't want to see someone."
some people will say, what if the other person really has something wrong? How do you know if you're trying to get off the hook?
here is a discrimination technique: see if the other person has initiated the next invitation.
for example, if you reject you first, then say, "are you free next weekend, we can go next week", or take the initiative to meet you later, it means that Ta cares about you; but refuses you, and there is no follow-up, that is, he really doesn't want to see you.
the matter of meeting alone takes time and reveals the true side, and no one will bet that time and sincerity for someone who doesn't care.
when the other person puts everything ahead of you and thinks that everything is more important than you, he would rather go out with friends or even watch a play at home rather than take the time to meet you.
because I dislike you, I don't want to make time to deal with you, and I don't want to perform enthusiastically in front of you, so I have to refuse your invitation for various reasons. No matter how euphemistic this reason is, it shows that Ta is rejecting you and deliberately keeping a distance from you.
reply to your message perfunctorily
A few days ago, my friend Da Ming sent me two screenshots of chat records.
in the screenshot, he is constantly looking for a topic, while the other party cherishes the words like gold.
he said gloomily that it was the girl he met at the friend's party. He was very fond of the girl, but he didn't know enough, so he wanted to try to be a friend first.
unexpectedly, when he first added Wechat, the girl replied politely and warmly to him, but in the past two days she seemed like a different person, with apathy and perfunctory between the lines, and stopped the topic without talking a few words.
Daming is puzzled and has been reflecting on whether he has done something wrong, or the topic is too boring for the other party to pick up.
"look at this chat transcript, am I too bad at chatting, or is it something that offends her?"
Uncle wants to say that a person's indifference to you is often not your fault, but that the other person does not regard you as an important person.
people who value you will pay attention to your every message and guess the meaning behind every sentence you say. Even if they are busy when they receive the message, they will reply you seriously after they are busy.
on the contrary, the less you care about you, and even those who disagree with you, the less likely you are to consider your feelings, what you think, or worry that your indifference will hurt you.
I don't respond to your sharing desire, I have no interest in your life, and I don't care about your joys and sorrows, because I don't have a place in my heart. I don't want to waste time on you. I just want to end the chat and do my own thing as soon as possible.
think of a joke on the Internet:
"people who don't care about you, take a bath all night, eat for a day, wake up at three o'clock in the afternoon, and say good night at eight o'clock in the evening."
A person's attitude towards you is an answer to you. Meet such a person, please let go of obsession, timely alienation, do not use enthusiasm for indifference, with sincerity for perfunctory.
find fault with you for no reason
I'm sure you've heard this sentence:
"when someone loves you, you can go anywhere; when you don't love you, everything you do is wrong."
this is true in love, and so is friendship.
if a person thinks in his heart that you are not good enough, he cannot tolerate any of your shortcomings, always finds fault with you, dislikes you everywhere, and becomes more and more impatient with your attitude.
No one is perfect, everyone has shortcomings more or less, some innocuous ailments, can tolerate the people they like, but can not show this patience to the people who dislike.
even when a person starts to dislike you, your strengths can become weaknesses.
I read a story on the Internet, which was rather heart-wrenching.
one netizen said that he is happy to share, while his girlfriend is introverted. When they were together, the other side took a fancy to his enthusiasm and cheerfulness, and there was no shortage of topics to chat with him.
two months before the breakup, his girlfriend complained most about his chatter, often saying to him:
"are you bored? why do you talk so much? don't you have something to do?"
when a person doesn't like you, even the desire to share becomes "talk too much".
I quite agree with this paragraph:
"if the other person always finds fault with you in love, saying that your clothes are wrong and your cooking is bad, the game you like is childish, your love to chasing stars is stupid, and your hobby is not worth mentioning in his opinion. Such a person is not in love with you at all, but is feeding his sense of superiority with your love."
these critical sarcasm all stem from dissatisfaction and dislike of you, but picky is not to make you better, but to belittle you to raise your status and control you better.
over time, you will become depressed and suffocated, unable to face yourself squarely, and even begin to feel inferior and self-doubt.
if you want to find happiness and self-confidence, stay away from the person who belittles you and find someone who truly respects, understands and tolerates you.
those who hurt you wantonly, but never feel guilty, don't take you seriously at all.
but you don't have to deny yourself, you know, there will always be people who like you, and there will always be people who hate you. When you meet someone who dislikes you, leave in time and be with someone who really appreciates you.
, may you not please others, do not injure yourself, do not waste your time and feelings on unnecessary people, do what you like, meet the people you like, and live your life freely.