Run a circle, not in size, but in whether it is comfortable or not.
likes a sentence very much:
"comfort is like the wind in April and the rain in September. It is comforting and refreshing."
A good relationship is comfortable, there is no humble flattery, there is no awkward perfunctory, there is plenty of tacit understanding and freedom for you to listen to me.
after half a lifetime, you must understand that any relationship that takes so much effort is the wrong one.
Real feelings, no need to please
Su Cen said, "I would rather be alone than go against my will. I would rather regret than make do with it."
in a relationship, pandering to a person is like wearing a pair of shoes that are not the right size, which will only make your feet red and swollen.
A really good relationship doesn't need to be flattered or begged. Because the love that reaches out the hand, like the ice in the hand, is doomed not to last.
writer Liu Yu once told a story:
during her study abroad, she met a girl, and after they came and went, the two became acquainted with each other.
Liu Yu wanted to heat up this relationship and made her a friend, so she often went to chat with each other, but she took the initiative for a long time and finally gave up.
Liu Yu found a topic to chat with her, and the girl responded coldly, and the pleasantries ended as soon as they began. Liu Yu talked about her views on a matter, and the girl was tit-for-tat and then turned into a debate.
Liu Yu figured out that any relationship that goes to great lengths to maintain must not be an ideal state.
at a certain age, after experiencing something, you will no longer want to please anyone, and you will be with whoever you are comfortable with.
like a poem by Gu Cheng: "the grass is knot its seeds, the wind is shaking its leaves, we stand, do not speak, it is very beautiful."
A truly comfortable relationship, there must be no need to please, no trouble to maintain, no need to please, even if they are silent to each other, they can feel sincerely comfortable.
the frequency is different, so there is no need to integrate
in the vast sea, there lives "the loneliest whale in the world". Her name is Alice.
since 1992, she has been followed and tracked by human beings, and it has been found that she has no family or friends.
after research, it turns out that the frequency of her sound is 52 hertz, which is higher than that of a normal whale, so Alice looks like a mute in the eyes of other whales.
scientists speculate that Alice will not be alone forever, and that she will eventually meet a group of friends of the same frequency on the sea and play a wonderful whale song together.
No matter animals or human beings, rich or ordinary people, they all have seven emotions and six desires, and they always hope to meet someone who is close to the heart, knows the cold, knows the heat, and understands his own thoughts and feelings.
Wang Anshi said: "the joy of life lies in knowing each other."
it is a great joy in life to have a person who knows himself.
you don't have to force yourself to fit in with those circles of different frequencies. Chickens talk to ducks, and no matter how hard they try to find a topic, they can't talk together.
when you are with people of the same frequency, you don't have to find a topic, you don't have to worry about the silence, you don't have to be afraid of the sudden silence of the air, you just need to talk freely.
echo each other, chatting, talking to each other, lonely can not get close to each other.
although the circle is small, it is good to be comfortable
A good relationship is as soft and inclusive as water.
Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu are a couple in the literary world. They know each other and have been in love for decades.
Yang Jiangsheng's daughter could not go home while she was in hospital. Qian Zhongshu was at home alone.
how difficult the ink is to wash off, but Yang Jiang is not angry, just a knowing smile, comfort her husband: "never mind, I can wash."
Qian Zhongshu came to the hospital the next day and said he was sorry, but I broke the lamp.
Yang Jiang still smiled and said, "it doesn't matter, I can fix it."
when he learned to strike the first match to light a fire for his wife, Yang Jiang asked him, "do you know how to use matches?"
Qian Zhongshu held up the match and said proudly, "Yes, you see I can strike a match."
being with people who are comfortable with each other, you are comfortable and at peace of mind. You don't have to be careful. You can be careless and casual. It's the best way to keep healthy.
being with uncomfortable people is tantamount to poisoning each other and committing chronic suicide.
like self-abuse is a kind of morbid. Run a circle, not in size, but in whether it is comfortable or not.
the luckiest thing is to have an energetic environment for making friends, spending time with comfortable people and making your mood as bright as the sun and warm as a warm lamp.
looking back on the half of my life, too many meaningless people and things occupy the time and space of life, and have spent naive efforts trying to maintain every relationship.
if a relationship has to pay a huge price to maintain, it is doomed to no long-term fate.
if you can't hold the sand, let it go. If you don't feel comfortable, just break up and say goodbye to two widths.
do not cater to, no longer please, although will leave some circles, miss a group of people, but run a really comfortable circle, in order to make their own life happy and comfortable.
broadcast: Lin Jing, a radio host who graduated from the Chinese Department. Wish that after many years, the story will no longer hurt people, the sun is still warm, you are so charming. Let my voice and other people's reasons
accompany you every sleepless night.
listen to classics and Lin Jing in the evening.
Do you wish to be a Cinderella in a high quality but cheap formal tea length dresses? You'll be pleased with your sophisticated look.
Sina Weibo @ DJ Lin Jing.