learns to reduce social interaction, restrain his desires and protect himself from emotional influences.
the actors also became popular after the popularity of the popular TV series "the Wind".
Zhang Songwen's resume and articles are sought after by others;
Mad Donkey takes advantage of the heat to do a live broadcast with goods.
Gao Qilan, who wears gold-rimmed glasses, has also rushed to hot search for many times because of her masculinity.
only Zhang translator is deserted here, with no media interviews and no social interaction.
the popularity of TV dramas seems to have nothing to do with him.
this reminds me of a paragraph he said in the interview earlier:
"I am not a person who likes icing on the cake, the kind of bustling and lively, once it gets cold, it will be very miserable."
so I might as well keep a low temperature all the time. "
when we were young, we always thought life was about steaming hot.
pursue a lively circle of friends, luxurious food and clothing, glamorous work.
after middle age, I gradually understand that if people pursue too much vigor, they will eventually be overwhelmed.
cool yourself down properly and live a low-temperature life so that you can get rid of the burden and move on light.
Social low temperature
on Douban two days ago, I saw netizens
Last year, friends who had not returned home for several years returned to their hometown for the Spring Festival.
on the evening of New year's Eve, parties are planned in various WeChat groups.
I am either busy playing cards and singing with my classmates or pushing glasses on the wine table with my classmates.
one party after another, table after table of dinner, he was immersed in the social touting of each other and could not extricate himself.
his parents advised him to drink less and not to fool around all the time.
he retorted directly: "what do you know? I'm maintaining a relationship."
it was supposed to be a holiday to relax himself, but he was exhausted.
later, his capital chain, who runs a small business, is broken and is in urgent need of more than 100,000 yuan in turnover.
he dialed the number of his classmates and thought that with years of friendship, he could make up for the hole.
who knows, the other party is either an excuse for difficulties or a straightforward refusal.
then he realized that the lively scene on the wine table was just a play, and when the excitement was over, no one could expect anyone to help you.
in the end, he had to go to the bank to find a loan to meet his urgent needs.
the experience of this netizen is not a true portrayal of many people in real life.
they were so busy with all kinds of dinners that they left nothing but noisy emptiness.
think of a sentence by the writer Zhou Guoping:
"Friendship is definitely not the dominant factor in the social arena, but profit or boredom."
therefore, instead of wasting energy in noisy parties, it is better to stay alone, recuperate and improve yourself.
Dou Wentao, the host, has been employed for nearly 20 years. He has interviewed great people in various industries and has good popularity.
but every time someone asks him to dinner and party, he refuses one by one.
except for doing programs, he basically stays at home and reads books.
in his solitude, he has accumulated a lot of knowledge, and people have become more sober and transparent.
as the writer Feng Jicai said, "mediocre people fill the emptiness with excitement, and excellent people make themselves by being alone."
after middle age, don't always indulge in socializing and don't think that someone can give you a hand.
Life doesn't need to be noisy and noisy, and there's no need to blend in a circle that doesn't belong to you.
because life is always a person's journey, some things can only be done by one person, some hardships can only be eaten by one person, and some roads can only be done by one person.
learn to maintain a cold social state and spend your social time alone.
read books, listen to songs and do some exercise.
make more efforts to improve yourself, and you will have more strength in your life.
desire low temperature
writer Mark Twain once said:
"fanatical desire induces dangerous actions and absurd things."
greed haunts people, but lust is hard to fill. Once people sink into it, they will bring pain to themselves.
there is a Mr. Hu in Yi Shu's novel leisurely my Heart.
Mr. Hu came from a poor family, and after years of hard work, he finally took up the position of manager of the bank's finance department with an annual salary of one million yuan.
the wife is beautiful and virtuous, the daughter is sensible and clever, and the life is very rich.
the annual salary of one million yuan can not meet his desires at all.
the temptation of the fancy world made him indulge in material desires.
A few years after the result, his story was exposed.
he was jailed, and his originally happy family fell apart.
in reality, there is no shortage of people like Mr. Hu, who have a stable job, a considerable income and both children.
but the hearts of the people are not enough for snakes to swallow elephants. When they pursue more things, their desires outweigh their abilities, they will breed troubles and even go astray.
only when you learn to cool down your desires and remove fire, can you dispel your troubles and return to comfort.
writer Cai Lan once traveled in the mountains, and the old lady at the lodging gave him roast chicken every day.
one day, Cai Lan said, "I don't want to eat chicken. I want fish."
but the old lady lives in the mountains all her life and doesn't know what fish is.
so Cai Lan drew a fish on paper and pointed it out to her: "it's a pity you haven't eaten it."
the old lady said happily, "Sir, what's the pity of something you haven't eaten?"
in life, many people have never eaten delicacies or seen strange mountains and beautiful scenery.
but this does not prevent them from living happily and happily.
because the essence of life is not to pursue better material desires, but to enjoy the present and cherish what we have.
as the old saying goes: if you have a lot of money, you can eat no more than three meals in the sun; in a thousand houses, it takes only six feet to sleep at night.
you should always understand that life is not the more wealth, the better life.
three thousand prosperous, eventually return to one porridge and one rice, excessive pursuit of material, will only add to their own burden.
after middle age, learn to cool down your desires, be content and have nothing to do, and life is full of scenery.
Carnegie Mellon University conducted an emotional study.
the researchers recruited hundreds of experimenters and carefully recorded their status in their work life.
results show that people have two emotions of "high temperature" and "low temperature".
subjects with high emotions are grumpy and moody, and often lose their temper because of trifles.
when they interact with their friends, it is easy for them to fall out immediately because they do not deal with one or two words.
talk about cooperation with customers, but just because the other side refuses to give in, they pat the table and leave, thus ruining the business.
the subjects with low emotional temperature were seldom overjoyed and sad. They were emotionally stable, calm and rational.
as Laozi said, a quiet life gives birth to wisdom.
to be a person with low emotional temperature, only by taking your time can you develop wisdom and cope with the chaos of life.
Stephen Clifford, a famous American psychologist, once told a real case.
36-year-old Gunnar is the director of a company in California.
once, he met a difficult but important client, and if he signed a contract with him, his performance could be doubled.
in order to take down this client, he worked all night to make the plan impeccable.
who knows, the plan has been changed again and again, but the other party is always dissatisfied and satirizes his incompetence.
Gina lost his temper directly and roared on the phone, "I won't serve any more."
as a result, the cooperation talks collapsed, not to mention his performance, and he was reprimanded by the leader in public.
filled with bitterness, he went to Clifford, a psychologist, to complain.
after hearing his story, Clifford persuaded earnestly: "the more irascible you are, the more you should have the ability to pour cold water on your emotions."
from then on, Gena began to consciously cool his emotions.
No matter how difficult the customer is, he will try to control his temper and deal with it calmly.
for a long time, those difficult customers all asked for docking and cooperation with him.
his performance is rising year by year, and in less than two years, he has achieved the position of vice president.
think of a sentence by the English poet John Milton:
"if a man can control his emotions, he has outperformed the king."
when people reach middle age, their burdens become heavier and heavier, and they can no longer explode with a little temper like they did when they were young.
A small impulse can lead to losing your job, losing your temper and having a conflict, and even dragging down the whole family.
in fact, as long as you pour a basin of cold water on your emotions in time to cool down.
when you are calm, you will find that all the problems will be easily solved.
to understand that life is difficult, as long as you can keep your emotions steady and your heart is not confused, nothing is difficult.
writer Ma Yawei said in "low temperature Middle Age"
"when people reach middle age, they should be in a state of low temperature. Only at a low temperature can you be calm, self-controlled, knowledgeable and wise. "
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Middle age with low temperature does not require you to face life ruthlessly and indifferently.
but you should pay more attention to inner self-cultivation and spiritual growth.
learn to reduce socializing, restrain your desires, and protect yourself from emotional influence.
when you try to live at a low temperature, you can live a calm, full, warm and comfortable life every day.
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