I wish you and I can find a heart in the world of mortals, and the white heads will not leave each other.
some time ago, the topic of "whether marriage should consider the family circumstances of the other half" went viral on Weibo, attracting the attention of hundreds of millions of netizens.
one netizen commented:
"be sure to consider the family circumstances of the other half.
because of similar living environment, the corresponding outlook on life, values, world outlook, interests, and hobbies will be relatively similar, which is also a great foundation for family stability. "
indeed, before we got married, we all thought that our love for each other was enough to withstand all the tribulations in life.
A room for two and three meals for four seasons is enough to dispel all the haze in life and go to marriage.
until we embarked on the road of marriage, we found that: in the waste of trifles, the romance has long gone with the wind, marriage is not as beautiful as we yearn for.
We have wondered more than once what sustains the marriage and what makes it break up.
in fact, it takes many factors to maintain a marriage, and there may be many reasons to destroy a marriage.
but a high-quality marriage must be inseparable from the "perfect match".
concept of money
how you spend money, what kind of marriage you have
if love is romantic, then marriage is firewood, rice and oil.
the material basis determines the quality of marriage, and the attitude towards money also tests the length of marriage.
what matters is whether husband and wife can share the same view of money.
in an emotional mediation program, Ms. Deng talked about many conflicts between herself and her husband because of money.
life, Ms. Deng spends almost most of her income on things she likes.
on the other hand, the husband prefers to be careful and wants to spend his money on the knife.
on weekdays, from filial piety to their parents, as small as daily life, almost two people will have differences.
this makes Ms. Deng very depressed and makes her husband feel tired.
the original happy marriage has also been exhausted in this quarrel.
Jane Austen once said: "A marriage that only thinks about money is absurd, and a marriage that doesn't think about money is stupid."
although money is not the most important, the concept of money is particularly important.
A long-term marriage is not without the couple's concept of money.
couples who are in harmony with the concept of money can always make every penny spend tacit understanding, enhance happiness while spending money, and make the relationship more passionate.
only by talking boldly about money before marriage can we know in advance whether two people's money can be spent together and predict the quality after marriage.
this is the greatest responsibility for yourself and the greatest respect for marriage.
whether the marriage is good or not, you can tell by your parents
psychologist Nofeo said: "the relationship pattern of parents is the entrance for children to learn about marriage in the first place."
although we all have our own attitude towards marriage in our lives.
but it is undeniable that everyone's original family also invisibly affects their expectations of marriage.
in life, our attitude towards marriage is more or less influenced by our parents.
just like parents' mode of getting along with each other, details of daily life, way of speaking, behavior expression.
many details are affecting one's family values, and even what he will look like after marriage in the future.
this is why we always say that whether it is good to get married or not depends on each other's family.
I have read a story by Yang Jiang before.
Yang Jiang's mother is an intellectual woman who graduated from a famous school and has a stable job.
but after marrying his father, he chose to return to his family.
her father appreciates his wife's efforts. After decades of marriage, the two have never had a quarrel.
in order not to let her mother feel lost, her father often shares anecdotes about his work with her and gives gifts to create surprises.
in Yang Jiang's eyes, parents are like a pair of old friends.
her family view is also slowly formed with the help of her parents.
after marrying Qian Zhongshu, she made the same choice as her mother, giving up her studies and going to a foreign country for further study with him.
they admired and loved each other all their lives and lived a life similar to that of Yang Jiang's parents.
Satya once said:
"A person is inextricably linked to his original family, and the mode of parents getting along is the mode of children's learning."
if parents respect each other and discuss everything, their children will also learn from each other.
but if parents regard marriage as a battlefield, their children will also use marriage as a training ground.
therefore, before marriage, we should not only get to know each other clearly, but also see clearly the relationship pattern of each other's parents.
this is a kind of caution, but also a kind of responsibility for marriage.
after all, in the end, marriage is not only about character, but also about family values.
poor cognition determines the happiness of marriage
Dickens once said: "in marriage, no great difference can outweigh the difference in thought and belief."
A long-term marriage depends not only on affection, but also on the educational level of the two.
@ small seven fruits
said that his marriage is like a pool of stagnant water, and he wants to divorce many times.
it turns out that Xiao Qiguo graduated from a key university, while her husband only had a junior high school education.
different levels of education have brought a lot of trouble to their lives.
she wants to sign up for extracurricular classes for her children, and her husband thinks the grades are almost enough.
she is used to reading before going to bed, but her husband prefers to browse short videos and play with her mobile phone.
she even laughed at her for being so tired of reading, so it would be better to browse more short videos and watch dramas to relax.
not only that, their circle of friends is also very different.
looking through the chat conversations between husband and friends, they all travel and share interesting stories.
but I'm talking to my friends about how to improve themselves.
after a long time, Xiao Qiguo even felt that she had nothing to say to her husband.
indeed, the level of education determines the way you look at things and your perception of the world.
if it doesn't resonate, it will only make each other feel painful.
such a marriage is doomed to be a disaster and cannot go far.
as Cai Kangyong said:
"I remember that the perfect couple includes their own education and cultural background, and everything is romantic when they fall in love.
after getting married, there are fewer and fewer topics they can exchange.
so it's not that many couples don't love each other, but that their social circles don't fit in. "
there is no shortage of contradictions in life, and even people who love each other have frictions.
but couples with similar educational values can always try to seek common ground while reserving differences, learn to tolerate and respect each other, and lead a steaming life.
if the mindset is right, marriage is right
once read a story.
it was a story when Gu Weijun, a famous diplomat, tied the knot with Huang Huilan, a generation of socialite.
but this marriage ended early in the end.
in the eyes of Gu Weijun, Huang Huilan is only a suitable person to marry, but Huang Huilan entered the marriage hall with a longing for love.
when two people with different views on marriage live together, they will naturally become increasingly alienated because they have different attitudes and expectations towards marriage.
after marriage, Gu Weijun devoted himself to his career, often went out early and returned late, and was not very affectionate to her.
on the other hand, Huang Huilan expected Gu Weijun to give her the love she wanted, but she was disheartened again and again.
A thousand people have a thousand ways to live, and everyone has their own views on marriage, and their expectations and attitudes towards marriage are not the same.
it's like some people get married to get married, while others get married for love.
some people are willing to pay more attention to each other, while others will devote their spare efforts to self-improvement.
if you have different views on marriage, you must have a different marriage.
A truly happy couple should have the same concept of marriage.
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they can always give each other what they want at the right time, avoid a lot of unnecessary disputes, nourish each other for the rest of their lives and go to the life they aspire to.
Marriage is not a child's game. Please be familiar with each other's view of marriage and see if it is the same as yourself before entering into marriage.
in many cases, it is not all the big problems of principle that overwhelm marriage, but the different views of marriage between the two parties.
Voltaire said: "what makes people tired is not the distant mountain, but a grain of sand in the shoe."
the long road of marriage is full of reefs and storms, which tests the matching degree of husband and wife all the time.
although people live with themselves no matter who they marry in this life, it is really different to marry someone.
before marriage, please give up love, make a rational choice, and don't let the door be wrong and become the sand in your marriage.
only when you get married with the right person, love and enthusiasm will not be consumed too quickly by the dullness of life.
depend on each other in the dull years, work together to resolve the heckles of the years, and become the strongest backing for each other.
, in 2023, may you and I both find one heart in the world of mortals, and the white heads will not be separated from each other.
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