2023, New relationship Theory (unique)
2023, New relationship Theory (unique)
Stay awake in the lively world and gain sincerity in the complex human nature.


do not underestimate the inevitable rules of human nature.

as the saying goes: "Tea is cold because it is not drunk, people do not hesitate to disperse, wine does not know its strength, and people do not know its depth."

in this life, people have to go through too much separation and separation, in the face of people coming and going, in order to see clearly who is true and who is false.

half of my life has passed, and my heart has become hard, not because I get cooler and thinner, but because I recognize a lot of reality:

between people, the relationship is complex, the feelings are mutual, and the long-term is conditional.

No matter who you are with for the rest of your life, you must keep these seven pieces of advice in mind.

about contacts

if you don't have the strength, it's no use knowing anyone

what is networking?

there is a line in "Little Joy" that explains profoundly:

"networking is not how many people you know, but how many people know you;

networking is not about how many business cards you send out, but how many business cards you can receive.

networking is not how much you can beg others to do, but how much others can beg you to do. "

when I was young, I always thought that if there are many friends, there are many ways, but if the circle is big, it is easy to go.

later I learned that when your strength doesn't match your social circle, it's futile to try.

your strength is the way you can get resources and connections. If people are not strong enough, it is useless to know anyone.

because the essence of social interaction is reciprocity, you have to give as much as you want.

if you want to join a pack of wolves, you can only become one of them by turning yourself into a wolf.

if you want to see further, you must first stand high before you can feel the infinite scenery.

in one's life, one must finally recognize a reality:

acquaintance is not equal to friends, and knowing more people is not equal to being well-connected.

only when resources are equal can value be created, otherwise, the connections you think will only be a joke.

as the saying goes:

"when you are not good enough, don't spend too much time on social gatherings, but should spend more time reading and improving your professional skills."

do not chase a horse, use the time to chase a horse to recommend, when the spring blossoms, there will be a number of horses for you to choose.

Don't waste energy on ineffective socializing, spend more time improving yourself, and when the time is right, your world will be strong.

about circles

A person's achievement is the average of five friends around him

there is a famous "principle of mean" in psychology.

is: your achievement is the average of five friends around you.

in other words, the average of the five people you most often approach is your value.

what kind of circle you enter, what kind of life you will have.

what kind of life you will live with the kind of people you associate with.

walk with an excellent person, he will share with you the scenery he has seen and the knowledge he has learned, and bring you light.

join hands with positive people, he will give you more energy, so that you have the courage to face the ups and downs of life;

with a reliable person, he will always stand behind you and let you move forward with peace of mind.

with a kind person, he will show you love and warmth and never lose your way.

side by side with a sincere person, he will bring sincerity and gratitude and give you the most solid support.

as Jia Pingwa said:

"the circle of friends is actually the world of your life, and your struggle for fame and profit is the history of good and evil of friends."

about people

there is no 100% empathy in the world

when people live to a certain age, they will understand:

No one really understands you, and there is no such thing as empathy in the world.

the arrows you think pierce the heart are often innocuous in the eyes of others, while your so-called pain is only hypocritical in the eyes of others.

agree with the writer Mo Yan:

Don't think that people in the world care about you. Do you think everyone is staring at you?

in fact, everyone has his own troubles, and no one cares about you.

stop complaining to everyone like Sister Xianglin. After a long time, others will get bored and many times, and no one will want to hear it.

say what you say from the bottom of your heart to the right person; just say what you complain to yourself.

about discretion

90% of the people around you, you can afford to offend

what is the most comfortable state in interpersonal communication?

probably it is: no one needs to please anyone, and no one is afraid to offend each other.

you know, except for the exchange of interests, 90% of the people around you, you can afford to offend.

once saw a sentence on the Internet:

"Today you go to work without makeup, he says you are ugly; tomorrow you wear makeup to work, he says you are a leprechaun.

Don't please the people around you, they are really hard to please. "

I think so.

when you are alive, you don't have to bake yourself on the fire for the warmth of others.

all good relationships need to know how to be prudent, so that they can advance and retreat in a moderate manner and never get tired of it for a long time.

about distance

always keep at least 30% mystery to anyone

Don't tell the whole story about yourself, so that you won't leave something on you wherever you go.

as the old saying goes, "if you only say three points to everyone, don't throw your heart away."

speak your heart to anyone, not simple, but stupid.

Life is a long time, and what I fear most is not being unkind to others, but standing in front of everyone without reservation and being honest with everyone.

after all, you can never know every true or false, nor can you be sure whether it is a flower or a blade hidden behind the other person.

get along with acquaintances, keep a proper distance, get too close, hurt others and yourself.

keep the right yardstick when talking to strangers. If you talk too much, you will lose something.

30% of the mystery is not only to save yourself, but also one of the secrets of a long-term relationship.

about the bottom line

good people are rewarded, but bad ones are not.

being too kind to a person is a kind of giving without a bottom line.

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this attitude also determines the degree to which others demand you, and one day you will lose nothing.

you keep lowering the bottom line, they have to get closer and closer, but you can only fall back step by step and fall into a bottomless abyss.

if you are good enough to be unreserved, the other person can be unscrupulous.

good people are rewarded, but "bad good people" often have no good results. people who only consider the feelings of others are doomed to feel bad.

walk in the world, don't spoil the person who can only take, don't feed the ungrateful heart.

be kind-hearted, but you want a kind-hearted person who sticks to the bottom line, not a "bad person" who gives in.

be kind-hearted, be patient, and leave it to those who deserve it.

about human feelings

few people really hope you have a good life, except for your parents.

the darkest part of human nature is that you can't see the good people around you.

although it is cruel, it is true.

Russell, winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature, once wrote:

"A beggar will not be jealous of millionaires, but he will certainly be jealous of beggars with higher incomes."

most people don't envy strangers, but they often envy their close friends and relatives.

some people are unhappy, not because they experience misfortune, but because they feel aggrieved to see the happiness of the people around them.

sometimes, you inadvertently show off, it will become a thorn in the hearts of others.

A blurt out of your mouth will lead to endless trouble for yourself.

We have to admit that few people really want you to have a good life except your parents.

interacting with people, keeping a low profile and being calm, is a kind of rare wisdom.

Don't show off your happiness and restrain your edge so that you can shine in a dull day.

the famous psychologist Adler said: "all people's troubles come from interpersonal relationships."

when people are over fifty, they gradually learn to see through all relationships and despise all troubles.

do not overestimate the feelings between people, do not underestimate the inevitable rules of human nature.


, stay awake in the lively world and gain sincerity in the complex human nature.